Turnaucka’s Law (Automotive Edition)

In my previous post, I noted that Purr More the Aqua has updated electronics.  This is perhaps the biggest change between the model years, as it now has its own 4G cell service for enhanced traffic information, emergency calls, concierge service, telemetry, stolen vehicle tracking, and limited remote control.

It's all very cool. It also reminds me that I have said more than once that the 2016 MINI was one firmware upgrade away from being a charter member of Skynet. These changes are a serious upgrade, and now they can directly push more updates over the air.

Info Page of MINI Connected
(from the iPhone App)

The spooky thing is that it knows more than it explicitly publicizes. For instance, in the mock up of the car above from the companion iPhone application, it shows that the car is a convertible Cooper S, and all the customizations, including color, bonnet stripes, wheels, fog lights, headlight rims and even the mirror caps correctly.  It also has (if one scrolls down) our exact current mileage.

I didn't see any agreement that we were "serfs to global domination" in the Terms and Conditions. Katherine wonders if we should have read it more carefully before we agreed.

We do have Turnaucka’s Law:

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its electrical cord.

Where's the fuse panel on the 2019 MINI?

It's Here! It's here! (Announcing Purr More the Aqua)

So once upon a time we replaced our 2006 rag top MINI with a 2016 rag top MINI . The plan was for it to have an equally a long, useful, and fun life.

It didn't work out that way. After about a year, the top, which only requires a single switch to raise and lower completely, didn't. It would fail every few months, Katherine would get out the Allen wrench to do the emergency close procedure, and then she would call Seattle MINI. They could see the problem code in the car's computer, but could never reproduce it. They tried (and I mean tried hard!), but modern integrated electronics are not something mortals can disassemble in the field.

To make a long story short, due to the top issues, we had the car declared a lemon. We ordered a 2019 replacement in late August, and we surrendered the 2016 MINI to MINI/BMW on September 14th. We were treated well by the dealer and MINI Corporate, and we've moved on.

This past Friday, our lovely 2019 MINI arrived. It's Caribbean Aqua in color, has more advanced electronics by three model years, an apparently working top, and otherwise feels very much like its now departed predecessor.

A friend of Katherine's hopped in it today and said "Did you get this painted?  I was sure this car was silver". That's an easy mistake to make. They are the same generation, and a guest won't notice subtle differences in the stereo or a repurposed switch or two.

Live Long and Motor, little MINI Cooper.

Presenting our 2019 MINI Cooper S Convertible, Purr More the Aqua.

(Click the picture for the full size edition)

The Wayback Machine, Computer Languages Edition

A couple of days ago, I posted on Facebook:

FORTRAN is the first high language I learned. It's clearly also the first one I forgot...

which led to an amusing thread with friends who knew me back in college.

It turns out my command of FORTRAN isn't lost, it's just my brain hid it somewhere. This was no doubt a vain attempt to save my sanity. Now (with the occasional help of a few choice archival sites on the web) the FORTRAN is coming back ... with a vengeance.

To wit, I offer this gem from code I wrote in high school:

WEK DAY = MOD(WEK DAY - 1 + MONTH(B), 7) + 1

That is valid code, because FORTRAN doesn't tokenize on spaces. That is, WEKDAY could be spelled WEK DAY or W E K D A Y; they are all the same valid FORTRAN variable. (Tokens were something for subway turnstiles when FORTRAN was invented.)

At least I commented the program sometime in college. The first version from high school had minimal comments, as I originally wrote it on a 029 keypunch. (If you ever used a keypunch with its lack of an erasing backspace, you would understand.)

Shockingly enough, the program, written in 1978, was not Y2K ready. Let me see what I can do about that . . .

Note: My sanity is not lost, it's backed up on tape, somewhere.